Nick Cannon Grieves the First Anniversary of His Son's Death: 'Mentally & Spiritually I’m Broken'

Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of Nick Cannon‘s son’s passing, and the grieving father took to Instagram to honor the memory of his baby boy and share vulnerable thoughts about the devastating experience of losing a child.

Sharing a few photos of baby Zen, Cannon captioned the carousel, “Physically I’m definitely on the mend but Mentally and Spiritually I’m broken. Been tossing and turning all night, and as much as I know I need rest, last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I can’t believe it’s been a year already since the toughest day of my life occurred. Such a painful anniversary.”

A post shared by NICK CANNON (@nickcannon)

He continued, “Losing a child has to be the heaviest, most dark and depressive experiences that I will never get over. A mixture of guilt, pain, and sorrow is what I suppress daily. I am far from perfect and often fall short and make decisions in my life that many question, but anyone who knows me knows my heart. I love hard, I love big and I love with my entire Heart and Soul and I just wish my Little Man could’ve felt more of that love while he was here on Earth.”

The soon-to-be dad of 12 shared how his support system is helping him through this difficult time, writing, “One of my Spiritual Leaders recently told me that I am in the midst of one of the most challenging seasons of my life, but encouraged me to be steadfast and know that all of this will only make me stronger, and to not lean on my own understanding but to rely on the peace that surpasses all. But let me tell you, it’s tough…”

Cannon concluded, “I know a few days ago I wrote a post from my hospital bed saying I will be okay and I just needed rest so don’t waste your prayers on me but I can definitely use those prayers right now… 💔Continue to Peacefully Rest My Son, Zen Scott Cannon. We Love you Eternally ❤️‍🩹🙏🏾”

Baby Zen, whom Cannon shared with model Alyssa Scott, passed away in 2021 after being diagnosed with brain cancer. Zen was Scott’s first child, and she’s currently expecting her second with Cannon — which will be his 12th — in 2023.

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